No news on Interstim yet :(

I am getting so depressed. The temp Interstim was taken out last week. They made it sound like they would be calling me by the end of the week to schedule a perm one. I havent heard anything. I called Fri to find out but had to leave a message for the lady who was getting it approved through insurance. It is so hard going from being able to pee to getting distended. The temp worked soo well. I only wish he would have let me keep it in till I got the perm one.

My back is still sore and hurting from where it was. I got my 2nd lupron shot this past week. My pelvic pain is hurting pretty bad. I hate taking meds for it, I feel as if I am killing my liver and my brain. They dont even help that much anyways.

I have been getting tingling in my feet. I have to move them around almost constantly. If I dont, then the tingling goes up my legs. Its very uncomfortable and weird. Also, I have been having problems saying words. About 5-10 times a day I will be looking at something (like the couch) and I can not say the word. Or I will call it something completely different. I do not do it on purpose either. I am not sure if this is from being exhausted, both mentally and physically, or the cause of some health issue. But it is really frustrating.

Nursing is extremely difficult for me right now. I am really questioning why did I get into this now. I am constantly studying and never have a break for anything. Logan has really been affected by this. I have tried to make time to play with him each day, but even then it isnt as much as I used to. I used to be with him almost all day every day. Now, its barely 1 hour of just me and Logan time. It has really affected him, and made him really grouchy and angry. He has thrown so many fits and that definetly doesnt help with the migraines. I am hoping that it gets better and I am able to dedicate more time to him and help him feel more loved. I feel like a horrible mom. I really have too much on my plate right now. But I dont know what I can do to have less. At the moment I will just have to take it, deal with it, and hope that I dont wind up in a psych ward or something because of the anxiety and depression. Urgh it is just so frustrating.